In Search Of...

I've read so much about friendship, lasting friendship, true friends, and so on, that the grey area seems like an ocean and the islands are spread farther apart. Yet jaded as I am, I've learned a few things about friendship and I constantly sift through the countless acquaintances and relations, always on the lookout for that unpolished jewel that lasts forever. They are not so easy to find you know. The merry mix isn't at all pleasant and they can lead you into so many blind corners. There are friendships that gleam at first and you're blinded by their beauty. Then they fade like a cheap lightbulb. There are those that moisten their lips and kiss your existence with praises. Then they turn into leeches that drop away when sated. However, there are others that blend with the scenery and it's difficult to notice them. Then slowly they bloom and develop depth, never to be forgotten.


Years ago, I met an older woman in Koln whom we all regarded as mother. In the short time we were there, we became very close so that when the time to part came, it was difficult for me. Then she told me something I will never forget. True friends, she said, wherever they are, no matter how far apart, shall remain that. When they meet, they shall simply start where they left off and begin the cycle once again. No gaps. No pretenses and most certainly, no sadness.

I admit that I have acquired some really interesting jewels in my heart's closet and they remain there still, safely tucked away until my last breath. They know who they are, confident in our friendship and needing nothing else. For those who whine away over errant friends, "fake" friends and "f_king" friends, remember only one thing: use or abuse them... and you lose them. Another thing, the moment you demand that they be with you in your time of need, YOU are not a friend and they have become nothing but crutches. True friends come anyway whatever weather in your life.

P.S. So let's stop wasting our jewels. We have to be reminded that we have to HELP OURSELVES FIRST and not rely on those around us to fight our battles for us. That's watching too many cavalry movies.

-From an older blog, "Grey Matter Extensions: Things that go bump between the ears"